How to Talk to Aging Parents About Estate Planning (Even If They Don’t Want To)
Why These Conversations Are So Important
Estate planning is not just about documents and distributions — it is about making your parents’ wishes clear and avoiding confusion later. Without a thoughtful plan in place, families can face:
Delays in probate
Unnecessary taxes or legal fees
Disputes among heirs
Missed opportunities to protect or preserve wealth
And in today’s world, estate plans need to go beyond just wills and trusts. Digital assets, blended families, and long-term care considerations are just a few of the modern complexities that need to be addressed.
When and How to Start the Conversation
The key is to approach the topic with empathy, not urgency. You don’t need to tackle everything at once. Start small, and focus on building trust and opening the door for future conversations.
Here are a few strategies that work well:
Use Life Events as an Entry Point
Mom just retired? A new grandchild was born? These milestones can be natural moments to ask, “Have you thought about updating your estate plan?”
Share a Cautionary Tale
Bring up a real-life story of a celebrity or public figure whose lack of planning caused family chaos. It’s a great way to highlight the importance of estate planning without making it personal right away.
Break It Into Bite-Sized Topics
Instead of launching into a serious talk about end-of-life care, start by asking, “What should we do with Grandma’s china set?” These lighter topics can open the door to deeper planning.
Frame It as a Gift
Let your parents know this conversation isn’t about their aging — it’s about caring for their wishes and protecting their legacy. Remind them that clear communication helps prevent future stress and conflict for everyone involved.
What You Need to Cover
Every family is different, but here’s a general checklist of topics to explore:
Legal Documents
Where to find wills, trusts, powers of attorney, and health care directives
Whether documents are up to date
Financial Information
Who the beneficiaries are on accounts and insurance policies
How inheritances will be divided
Health & Long-Term Care
Preferences for medical care and assisted living
Plans for potential cognitive decline
Property & Business Planning
What to do with the family vacation home or rental property
Succession planning for a family business
Family Considerations
Any special instructions for stepchildren or blended families
Requests around charitable giving or causes they care about
Digital Assets
How to access passwords, online accounts, or crypto holdings
What they want done with social media profiles
Need Help Starting the Conversation?
As CPA financial planners, we don’t just focus on tax returns and investments. We help families plan for the future with clarity and confidence.
If you’re not sure how to bring up estate planning with your parents — or you want to ensure your own plan is in good shape — we’re here to help.